It is a commonly thrown about statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce, but this isn’t entirely true. In America, 42%-45% of first marriages will end in divorce; but 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages will end in divorce. Despite their common frequency, most people aren’t quite prepared for the reality of a divorce, which can be quite different to what you might see on TV. If you’re considering divorce, here’s what you need to think about.
Many people think about their divorce case, but you shouldn’t think about it in terms of winning or losing. When a divorce become competitive, both parties will make mistakes that might exacerbate problems, sour relationships further and make the whole legal process longer and more expensive, not to mention cause some psychological harm to any children or pets you might have.
It will be rare for you to end up with everything you want in a divorce case, so make sure you have thought through the consequences of a legal battle, as opposed to a legal settlement. Mediators are a great way to keep things amicable and there are many available if you’re looking for a divorce mediator near you. They should be the first step before any thoughts about winning a case creep into your mind.
Look towards the future
It can be tempting to ruminate about all the bad things that your partner has done, but holding grudges will only elongate those bad experiences and keep you stuck in the past when a divorce should be something that makes your future brighter. Try not to get hung up on small things and insignificant matters, even if your partner seems to be taking that road.
Try to look at things with perspective; when making a big life decision like a divorce it can be helpful to think about what you’d remember in the last few years of your life. Would it be the CD collection that you’re fighting about? You should also keep in mind that if you make concessions on small issues you can spend more time on more important things like visitation rights.
Court can be Difficult and Very Expensive
If a partner threatens to take the case to court, it should be known that court would likely not be a good option for either of you. It is a long and costly road to trial and the money that is sucked up by divorce lawyers and the proceedings will likely erode the assets that are being decided upon. What’s more, each partner will have uncertainty about what the ruling is going to look like. There is no guarantee that the most reasonable outcome will prevail.
Honesty is Vital
You need to be completely honest about everything to your lawyer, especially your finances. Keeping truths about your hidden assets can lead to massive backfires if they are uncovered. For example, one California woman hid the fact that she had won the lottery from her husband. When the judge found out, he awarded all $1.3 million to the husband.